I was on it. Since I've given up the ghost on my shoe size, I knew I had to have new running shoes. That and the fact that whenever I tried to run before I would get the worst cramps in my feet. I tried to figure out what the best kind of shoe was for me. But after seeing prices online I decided to find comfortable and cheap. Luckily my thrifty ways got me $80 Nikes for $35
Who ever would've thought I would've bought pink shoes?
Today begins a 5 day weekend for me, I slept in (til 7!!!!!) then went about finding the duct tape for my boobs.
Today's work out:
- 5 minute walk
- 1 min run / 90 sec walk (times 6)
- 5 minute walk
A few things. I need to organize my playlist because trying to *werk* to Ave Maria and At Last is not what's up. But Partition?!?!? Whhooooooo Lawd. I ran when it wasn't time to run when that was on.
Day one complete. I didn't run all of the time I was supposed to partially due to the flames erupting from my legs. But not bad for the first day of trying to move allllllllllll of this.
And the results are in! During week 1 I lost a whopping 1.2 pounds. I will admit that this weight loss reflects my efforts. I did right but I could've put in much more effort. Other than my personal trainer toddler I did no exercise. And my husband made hot links which I ate the night before weigh in. And the night before the night before. LOL.
Week 1 - Lost 1.2 pounds, Total loss 1.2 pounds, current weight 249.6
Starting Weight 250.8
Let us not speak of my pedicure situation.
Tomorrow I start Couch to 5 K. The obvious question is why? I hate running. But I also hate all exercise. I'm kind of fascinated by running though, I'm not sure what is is, but I'm in awe of runners. And I'm actually buying the app which is saying A LOT for me. (Also saying a lot is the husband speaking to me in hushed tones because apparently looking for the right app was making me look crazy. "Why are you doing that?!?" )
Ok, in the quest to be honest I didn't REALLY pay for it, I got an iTunes gift card for Christmas from work
For Christmas (yes, I know it was 6 months ago) one of my favorite people in the whole wide world made me and my daughter matching aprons. Totally the best thing ever. I was so happy, I was going to send her a pic of us wearing them.
When I saw this photo I was horrified. Hor-ri-fied!!!!!! Sure it's a bad angle (photographs should be taken from slightly above, this is from below) but that doesn't account for how wide I am. I never sent it. Instead, I sent one of the baby solo.
The me I see in the mirror doesn't match what's shown above. I obviously think a little too highly of myself because me in the mirror is at least 30 pounds lighter. I said I was getting my life together. I was going to lose 50 pounds before my birthday. And I did right for a couple of days and then went right back to eating my feelings. My feelings are bad and they must be punished with food.
I restarted in February. Same pep talk, this time with photographic evidence of my scale bending weight
Same thing. I did right for a couple of weeks max, then went back to self medicating. In fact, I was super happy when I found a lunch spot with a giant slice of pizza and a pop for less than $4. That wasn't a good thing.
A month or so ago, the husband and I went to a wedding. We had a nice time, I even wore a dress. And then we stood really far apart when we embraced because of the 9 months of fat I am close to delivering.
This is the beginning of my weight loss journey. I deserve better than this. So does my family. It's time for me to do better.
Today is the day before d day. Which of course means I want to eat six of everything. I didn't. But I wanted to. I ate like a normal person at the barbecue my brother held for Mother's Day.
I have left over chicken Parmesan in the fridge that I'd love to stick in my face. But I'm being strong.
We played Just Dance or some other dancing game at my brother's house. The good news is I did cardio without passing out, twice! The bad news is when I watched the playback it appeared as though I had two sets of boobs. Your muffin top shouldn't look like extra boobs. That's not a muffin, that's a pound cake.
And I appreciated the inspiration I can do better. I will do better.
I started this blog nearly a year ago. When I realized that a combination of factors was allowing me to pile the weight on. I got it. But I didn't get it.
Today, May 10, 2014 I weigh 250 pounds. That's an outrageous number. That's what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant. I can't blame this weight on my pregnancy. First, my baby is 2. Second, I lost all that baby weight rather quickly.
What did cause my weight gain?
Not putting the effort into eating right
Making several hundred excuses and rationalizing everything.
Eating all of my feelings
Last year I was stressed about money, stressed about life in general and pressed for time. Since that time I've gotten a new job with a higher salary, but a worse commute and my husband lost his job. All that equals stress. I've dealt with that stress with pizza, tacos and more pizza. In fact, I was beyond thrilled that I found a place where I can get a slice of pizza and a pop for $3.78. Hey! That's even affordable. And I feel some kind of odd comfort in being able to sit in a restaurant and read. Very odd. In fact, I think I'm partially addicted to that as well.
The truth is, I've been lazy. I've juggled the other things in my life and just let this one go. It's warm and I have only a hand full of things that I can fit. This isn't ok. My weight isn't ok. The fact that I'm getting winded because of all of this extra weight isn't ok. I have to do better. Eating better is actually not that hard for me, yet I don't do it. I need to kick my own ass.
At the beginning of the year I said I wanted to lose 50 pounds by my birthday in September. I've made 0 progress on this goal.
So I'm back to charting. I joined Weight Watchers a while ago, now it's all about actually tracking the points. I'm going to get in some cardio as well, even though I hate cardio with a passion. I have to do this. If I don't do this now, I'm going to be one of those women who struggle to walk, who have miserable existences at 45. That can not be my life. I can do better. I will do better. And I will keep myself accountable here.
I welcome your comments and support.
Pics, measurements come on Monday, May 12th. I'm ready.